I was reading a post the other day made by a lady on Facebook in a marriage group forum. She was asking others to share the rules they have for their spouse on the discussion board. Figuring that this was probably not going to be good, I scrolled anyway and was shocked by the things I read. The lady proceeded to talk about how she doesn’t “ALLOW” her husband to do this and doesn’t “ALLOW” him to do that. As I read her list of demands from, “not allowing him to fall asleep on the sofa” to “not allowing him to cook anything in her kitchen”, my heart began to break. I thought to myself how miserable he must be in this marriage!
Listen, the message is simple. A marriage is a union between two people. Each person should feel like they have equal stake and comfort in the home that you both share. The quickest way to end up in divorce court is to put demands/rules on your spouse that are unfair and unwarranted. What grown person needs to be told that they can’t make a sandwich in the kitchen that they help pay for?? And why, because you just want control?? HAVE SEVERAL SEATS!!!
Now I am not referring to the unspoken rule that says you should not stay out all night! That’s not a rule, that’s just respect. If a person wants to come home all times of the morning then they should have stayed single. However, on the contrary, I am talking about those rules that we create for our spouses that come from either our upbringing or some place of control deep within. Why do things have to be your way or the highway? Are you being overbearing?? Are you running a dictatorship with your demands?
This is just food for thought. Relax, its not that serious, have fun, enjoy each other! We must remember that we are not married to children but rather adults who have thoughts, feelings, desires and needs just like we do. Reading her rant, made me so thankful that I do not have a need to control my husband. I love him enough that even if I don’t agree with the way he does a thing around the house, I want him to enjoy the place we call HOME!